Drowning in work and negativities.

I haven't been able to get good sleeps. Every night i try to go to bed but there is a feeling of nervousness and anxiety and i keep waking up to that. Its been terrible and i feel very tired. I can't get good uninterruptted rest and i think its really bad for me. I know this is ending in 2 weeks but thats the problem. I dun have good experimental conclusion, i dun think i can get a good thesis grade out of it. I feel like my thesis is as fucked as it can get. No doubt my group ppl tells me its ok as its part of science experimental research. But i feel that its not a good enough project to gimme a first class. Please give me the strength and courage to continue to finish my honours. I need a miracle to produce a first class.

I feel like shit!!~~

This 2 weeks have been hellish for me.. I mean i asked for it as well coz i didn't do more in advance and thus had to pay the price.

I had to give a presentation and submit a assignment on the same monday. The assignment was worth 25 percent of a 2 unit module and the presentation is not worth any grade but just to let everyone know that work is being done. So which one would you concentrate on? But are equally important. And i gave more attention to the assignment and as a result gave a lousy standard to the presentation. I really feel like shit coz its like such a low standard and even my boss wasn't pleased. I know that i still have some time but not a lot of time.

I hope this is a wake up call and i will find the strength to pick up where i fall. I had so little sleep that i'm no longer feeling tired anymore. But yet I find no strength to pick myself up. Perhaps i need you to lend me ur strength.

Weekend is over in a flash.....

The weekend is finally here and going to be over soon as i typed. Hahahah.. Its such a lovely feeling getting nearer to the end of the week cause i can get to play, relax more and hang out more with my friends. But sadly, it only last for only a like 2 days. Well, i suppose i'm too lazy la.. hahah..

Went down to goldcoast yesterday to "surprise" junhui for her birthday but we didn't get to eat at amimoto as it was all packed. Tired to male a reservation earlier but the onli thing the girl knows what to say is,

Me: Hi, i would like to make a reservation for 15 people tonight. Are you guys available?
Jap girl: Hi, sorry... Full....
Me: Oh ok, but we can wait and maybe you guys can arrange tables outside?
Jap girl: yes, yes, yes.....
Me: erm... so is that a confirmation?
Jap girl: yes, yes, yes.....
Me: So is it ok if we arrive at about say 630-645?
Jap girl: yes, yes, yes.....ok... bye........

And when we arrive there, its all packed and they couldn't provide any space. Apparently they dun understand english very well. As a result, went to eat ramen instead. Pretty decent place with quite good soup stock. Worth a second visit.:) We charlie mike to junhui's house later as coincidentally nobody was home. hahah... Her house's pretty hugh and pretty as well. But was really happy to see lego. Its been a while since i last played with him. :D

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Crashing back to reality tomorrow,it'll be harsh as there's always never-ending work and experiments to conduct. At least its good to keep my mind from thinking too much i guess..

I have an exam in my honours year and how stupid can it get. I mean, its so time consuming, the course coordinator obviously knows honours is not easy but yet provides an exam for us. But the point is that i really hate exams. Hope all these nonsense will be over soon.

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I'm thinking, if it is worth for all the thoughts and feelings even though you know its impossible.

come on...

i want to start working... i can't wait to finish my honors and go back to singapore and start my new phase of life. Please lend me some motivations and strength and whatever anyone can find to help me finish my honors. Its becoming torturous...

I think.......

好人难做。。。。shall mind my own business and just care about those who appreciates it.

Last day of CNY dinner. Motivations

Its the last day of chinese new year and we celebrated it in brissy delightful fashion, steamboat. We kinda had small dishes but managed to finish most of our food except for the vege. It wasn't splendid top class standard but i think for me i really enjoy the company of my brissy friends taking their time off doing their work or from their cosy house to gather at our place. I think it means alot to me as i didn't manage to go back home to celebrate with my family and my friends being here, are part of my brissy family.

So many things have happened within such short period of time and I'm thankful that I've made such wonderful friends and I also have marvelous housemates this sem. Even its the last day of CNY, I still look forward to gatherings with them in the very near future. We dun really have alot of time left in brisbane too.. Just 3 more months... I'll make full use of this time to do things s i won't regret.

3 more months to graduation.. In work wise, I think i'm still got some more pushing to do. I'm so motivated now and i know that things will work out if i push even harder. I'm all out for 1st class!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~ ARHOOO!!!!~~~~

I feel tt.....

How should i put this... I think i've gotten over things and will thus far move on with life. :) Had a chat with a good friend and realized that things happen so lesson could be learn whether good or bad. So after the lesson we just have to move on and embrace the future. :)

I will pursuit whichever is best for me and won't hold back.

Relieved..

Things are looking more lively in brissy now tt my house's packed with the supposed strength. The house's dynamics are not too shabby and i think its going to be quite a good stay ahead. :) Just glad that there are people that i can complain to and share stuff with. Felt relieved and motivated.. Perhaps i need people to provide me with the motivations and strength i need to work even harder... hahah.. weird but yea..Alrights.... Back to work...

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I dunno how to express my mixed feelings.... Its suppose to be a joyous period for cny. But all seems to not be working out for me. It feels so much to take it on alone. I know I'm not in the worst senarios amongst my peers. But it's really getting to me..

random thoughts...

Its been a while now...Anyhow, these few days or rather, weeks have been torturous for me. Labs not going well, experimental faults and failures, house moving, being "alone" in australia now that my hsemate have gone too.

I recently moved to mitre street and its quite a good place to stay really. Its just that i have quite a bit of things to go around and moving that is really tiring. Clearing the depper house should be listed as one of the milestone i achieved in my entire lifetime. The amount of rubbish created and left behind is indescribable. haha.. but at last, with the help of Nelson, Junhui and especially Faith, we manage to clear out most of the stuff. Of course there are still stuff lying around for instance the carpet and some racks here and there as I blog. Too much of a hassle clear, not even talking about cleaning.

When the cleaners i engaged come to look at the hse, was kinda embarrassed by the mess i created and they needed to clear. and they told me it would take forever to clear up the hse, charging me $120 more!!! omg.. hai~~ But still have to do it.

I hope this saga of depper will be over soon although i know the agent is gonna pick on things like the hole in the wall, bla bla bla and deduct things from me. Now i just dread to go back and pack the remaining things. So demoralising.

Lab hasn't been kind to me as well. Keep screwing up my experiments and samples are so limited now thanks to a certain someone. ha...

Whatever it is, i only got 3 more months and i ain't got time to waste on non-priority stuff. Oh well, there's still a long battle ahead to fight. till then.

Nice

Beautiful movie, beautiful song...